Life After Marriage – STILL Attract Your True Love Soul Mate

Happy Valentine’s Day

I cannot tell you how many times I’ve been asked what the secret is to staying in love after marriage… A quote from a wedding invitation sums it up nicely, “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” Falling in love daily offsets that classic complaint, “I feel taken for granted!”

What was it like when you first fell in love? Remember how it felt when you really wanted your Soul Mate and were not yet convinced they loved you back yet or were “yours”. Remember when you had to work on building a relationship? Remember how you felt when you were just so grateful to sit next to your spouse? When you looked into their eyes? That first hungry kiss? Really take the time to remember special moments, special songs and remember them OFTEN!

But, memories are not enough; you really need to make NEW memories. My Soul Mate and I vowed to make our marriage a “lifelong date”. Every day we “earn” each other’s love and admiration. Every day we work at attracting each other all over again. And, just like Valentine’s Day, that work CAN be fun!

  • What can I do today that will bring a smile to my Soul Mate’s face?
  • What can I do today that makes this day a better experience for my Soul Mate?
  • What might I do today that makes my Soul Mate feel confident that I am the one and only love of their life?
  • What might my Soul Mate need to hear or read or experience…
  • How can I make sure my Soul Mate’s world is a better place because I am in it?

Thinking of ways to bless your Soul Mate is a good start to keeping true love alive, interesting and fun. Remembering what it was like when you were dating or preparing for Valentine’s Day is a great way to come up with the perfect things to do!

But what if time and experiences have caused you to drift apart? Is there no hope? Are there “irreconcilable differences”? What can be done to revive troubled Soul Mate relationships?

Absolutely reliving all those good memories helps; they can give you the reason and motivation to work on your relationship. Reviving feelings and emotions can be a plus too. However, sometimes there have been so many hard feelings built up over years of hurt that it takes more work and effort to revive the love and romance of dating and the celebration of your love. Sometimes it requires breaking down the walls built up between the two of you. Our coaching program at APCD Institute can help you identify those walls and the barrier energy they generate so that you can potentially dissolve and transform them into the energy for a loving, meaningful and fulfilling Soul Mate relationship.

janet lee

© jan gentleman-ingersoll Eastern Shepherd, Inc. 2011

A Way Back Into Love – Attract Your Ideal Soul Mate Now

A Way Back into Love

When you think about being in love with your Soul Mate what do you think of?

Do you imagine that one person, whom you are most comfortable sharing moonlit nights and deepest secrets? Falling asleep in each other’s arms and awaking side by side? A special moment that only the two of you get? The smell of their cologne or hot sweaty body? The look in their eyes when you walk into the room and that sense of connection you experience with no other? The feel of their skin next to yours as you move to the dance of love?


Do you remember that painful break-up, when you felt all your good feelings shattered into a million bits as your heart bleeds pain and despair? All reason and purpose to live sapped from every cell of your body, you no longer care if you live?


Perhaps you remember feeling trapped, stripped of your hopes and dreams and certain there is no way out or… no way back into love.

There is hope and there is a way! Following my step-by-step process, you will transform your experiences, memories and observations into a powerful homing device that zeroes in on what you want and long to experience with your Soul mate.

The song, Way Back Into Love, from the movie Music and Lyrics, delightfully conveys how your past heart breaks, disappointments and trauma become a shadow, or a cloud, that keeps you lonely. However, within suffering lay the very seeds that grow into true and lasting love but only if you have a process as well as the courage and discipline to explore the corners of your mind… the space that harbors barrier and limiting beliefs that block and prevent you from experiencing the love of your life – your Soul Mate.

The 5-step Attraction Process transforms pain and trauma into a powerful attracting energy for what you really want in a Soul Mate relationship. Followed by the Belief Change work you will eliminate barrier energy and clear the energetic path to attract your Soul Mate quickly and easily.

I would love to hear your story of how you found your way back into love! Until then, Namaste.

janet lee

© jan gentleman-ingersoll Eastern Shepherd, Inc. 2010

Roslita’s Story – How She Attracted Her Soul Mate

Bikram’s Yoga is an intense experience, as much or more mental than it is physical. One evening following a seemingly typical class, I met the lovely Roslita. Our eyes met across the locker room; I could see that hers were red, puffy and it did not take much for the tears to flow. She came over, introduced herself and asked if she could talk with me; she said that she sensed I could help. Her heart was breaking – her Soul Mate relationship ended; yet, subsequent brief interludes and conversations revived her hope then sent her back into a downward spiral when reality returned. When I met Roslita, confused and deep in despair, she struggled to move through the daily motions of work, exercise and motherhood – everything had become more effort than she imagined she had strength or energy to continue. She needed help, she needed hope and she needed A Way Back into Love.

We spoke by phone several times, emailed and met as she worked through the 5-step Attraction Process that transforms pain into a powerful attracting energy for what she really wants in a Soul Mate relationship. Once we identified what she wanted and asked God to provide her ideal Soul Mate, we then worked on clearing the emotional blocks that could actually prevent her either attracting or enjoying a Soul Mate experience.

Committed and dedicated to produce maximum results, Roslita diligently updated and worked her journal with her list and stems; all her efforts were rewarded! It was rewarding for me to witness her ah-ha moments as she uncovered barrier and limiting beliefs that affected not only her Soul Mate relationships but also with her mother and she could see how this blocked energy passed on generationally to her own daughter. Roslita told me she felt years of burdens lifted as a result of clearing her blocked energy and renewed confidence that not only did she deserve a loving Soul Mate relationship, it was her destiny!

When I met Roslita she felt that all hope for a loving Soul Mate relationship disappeared with Mr. Perfect; but working through the 5-step process and then exploring her beliefs about Soul Mate relationships removed barrier energy which cleared the path for Mr. Right to sweep her off her feet. She is now happily married to the Soul Mate she really wanted.

The same processes that worked for Roslita can work for you too. If you long for a Soul Mate relationship but are haunted by pain and sorrow of past traumatic experiences – your own or someone else’s – then the 5-Step process and Belief Change work can help you find your way back into love where you, too, will be singing At Last My Love Has Come Along.


Check out the 5-Step Process that started Roslita on the path to singing At Last My Love has Come Along…

And to the Belief Change work that removed her love blocks…

I look forward to hearing your success story! Namaste,

janet lee

© jan gentleman-ingersoll Eastern Shepherd, Inc. 2010

GAPS Analysis to Attract Your Soul Mate NOW

As a manager, supervising, mentoring or coaching his employees, my husband successfully uses a process he learned many years ago called GAPS Analysis.

For Soul Mate purposes, I modified the GAPS Analysis to fit your needs! In the following scenario, your EGO plays the role of supervisor, mentor, coach or… parent.

GAPS Analysis to attract a Soul Mate (or any goal really):

  • Goal – What is your goal? What exactly is it that you want?
  • Abilities – What is your current situation?

◦    What talents, skills – strengths – do you currently possess that enable you to achieve your goal?

◦    What talents, skills – improvement areas – do you realize that you need to develop to successfully achieve your goal?

  • Perceptions – How do others see your ability to achieve your goal? Specifically, for Soul Mate Attraction purposes, what does your EGO perceive as the GAP between your goal and the perceptive judgment of the cumulated database of past experience held in your unconscious mind? In other words, what beliefs do you hold that support or sabotage your ability to achieve your goal?
  • Strategy – What can and will you do to close the GAP? As mentioned in previous blogs, there are many strategies available – some permanent, others that are temporary at best.

When I first decided what an ideal Soul Mate looked like to me, then asked for him to show up in my life, I was totally impressed that one week later Mr. Perfect showed up! Interestingly, Mr. Perfect did not turn out to be Mr. Right forever, rather, he was Mr. Right for now – to teach me a lesson. Through that experience, I learned one more thing I did not want so I could add one more thing to my list that I do want. Very simply, I did not want someone who did drugs; I was very clear that what I want is a Soul Mate who is clean and sober.

The next Mr. Perfect turned out to be an incarnation of an aspect of my father that I hated, despised and I learned, deeply scarred me. Literally, as a child and my father’s daughter I had formed beliefs that “men could never be faithful”; “all men prefer 20 year old girls over a mature woman”; “no man is worthy of entrusting my heart to…” Can you see the incongruence?

I asked for an ideal soul mate; yet, unconsciously, I didn’t believe it was possible! As my father’s daughter and later, as a friend to a number of guys, I had stored countless volumes of data in the back of my mind – my unconscious – that supported the limiting belief that a soul mate experience absolutely positively would break my heart and could potentially even destroy my ability to ever enjoy life again as long as I lived… okay, I AM a bit melodramatic but then I truly am an emotional person who feels everything to the Nth degree.

Fortunately, I realized what was happening and discovered the process that I included in the free Master Mind Cleanse e-Guidebook that you received in yesterday’s blog.

It was enough clearing work to get me into my Ideal Soul Mate relationship which I remain in – happily – 15 years later.

If you did not pick up your free copy in yesterday’s blog, click this link and the Master Mind Cleanse Guidebook is yours instantly with minimal effort.  It takes very little of your time and yet accelerates your time to attraction exponentially as well as increases sustainability – as in permanently removes barrier energy.

  • You will identify those emotions that either attract or repel your ideal soul mate relationship.
  • You will then have the opportunity to literally reframe or neutralize any negative emotional charges that become repelling energy.
  • You will shift negatives beliefs into positives, signaling to God and the Universe that you are ready to attract the most amazing, exciting, fulfilling and LOVING soul mate in your life NOW!

The Master Mind Cleanse Guidebook helps you discover what beliefs are hidden in your unconscious mind and leads you through how-to align them to your conscious mind’s wants and desires.

However, like peeling a cathartic onion, there always seems to be another layer! And, some beliefs are so stubborn and fixed that they take a bit extra work to resolve. Consequently, the book Belief Change – The Book was born.

Belief Change – The Book, available at (including on Kindle), and Barnes and, contains the simple, 10-Step Belief Change Exercise contains the 10-Step Belief Change Exercise that helps you resolve stubborn limiting beliefs. The difficult ones that don’t shift easily. And if you are really lucky, this exercise can help you reach to the core and the whole onion disappears – forever!

Whichever belief reconciliation process you choose, you can be confident and certain that it is a strategy that will move you closer to realizing your dreams… permanently.

How will your life be different when the love of your life is in your life? We would love to hear from you in the comment section below.

Until next time, Namaste,

janet lee

A Gift for You: Jump Start Your Soul Mate Attraction

Today is your lucky day! I have a gift for you – a step-by-step mini e-course that holds your hand through the “ask” process. It takes very little of your time and yet accelerates your time to attraction exponentially – GUARANTEED.

· You will identify exactly what you want for your ideal soul mate relationship.

· You will literally ask for what you want.

· You will symbolically signal to your mind, God and the Universe that you are ready for the most amazing, exciting, fulfilling and LOVING soul mate in your life NOW!

The first problem most people encounter when longing for the love of their life – their soul mate – is not knowing what to ask for.

The second is, literally, not asking. Oh people are great at announcing their discomfort pain and anguish, complaining but thoughtfully, intelligently and intentionally asking for exactly what you want requires thought, intelligence and intention.

Your gift addresses the first two problems and more.

Please accept your gift by clicking the link to register for the step-by-step exercise that holds your hand through the “ask” process – register now for the complementary e-course titled The Secret Solution.

Enter here to register for The Secret Solution e-Course

You will absolutely, positively accelerate the Law of Attraction’s activation to provide you with your ideal Soul Mate.

How will your life be different when the love of your life is in your life? We would love to hear from you in the comment section below.

Until next time, Namaste.

janet lee

Belief Change Book

The Soul Mate Love Saboteur


“I’ve met the enemy and the enemy is me.” A cliché but nonetheless it carries an element of truth.

It is popular these days to blame the EGO, perceiving it as an evil villain determined to enslave and destroy your life. I have a different perspective on EGO.

I believe that everything God created has value and serves a purpose – including EGO.

In fact, I imagine two metaphors for EGO: one as an auto pilot similar to that which flies a plane and the other as a parent.

In the first, I imagine that it “runs our life show” until we gain mastery and assume the controls ourselves. This does not mean that once we gain mastery that there is never a time when EGO serves us. Which leads to the second metaphor – that of EGO as a parent.

Ideally, as adults we outgrow the need for a parent to run our life show. But, that does not mean there is no longer a valuable role for a parent in our life. What it does mean is that the role changes – evolves as we mature and our needs differ.

Stephen Covey teaches that as we move through life we advance through stages: we are born helpless and dependent, become independent then if all goes well, as adults we become interdependent – then, in our final stage of life, some of us become dependent again. Through each of these stages parents have different roles that enable their child to gain essential knowledge and skills to thrive in the next stage – always “with the end in mind”: a capable, effective and contributing adult living a meaningful and fulfilled life.


·        Not everybody understands the process

·        Not everybody understands their role in the process

·        Not everybody evolves through the stages – some people get stuck (have you ever heard of the term co-dependent?)


·        Not everybody understands how EGO fits into the process

·        Not everybody even knows they have a role in the EGO evolution process so choose to destroy it or remain its dependent child

·        Many people get stuck in the early stage and rebel against it

Different stages and roles implies different intentions and purposes; subsequently, different behaviors. Ideally, with a dependent infant the parent knows what nourishment the baby needs, as well as prepares and delivers it. Then, with the intention of teaching their child self-reliance they prepare their child for independence – this preparation is an evolutionary process not instantaneous, that also occurs in stages over time. Initially they have to teach their dependent baby the mechanics of feeding themselves – how to use the equipment, what to eat, when to eat, where to eat and even with whom to eat; then later down the life path (but NOT as much later as some parents might think), their independent adolescent or teen must be able to choose for themselves how to use the equipment, what to eat, when to eat, how to eat, where to eat, with whom to eat and even how to acquire and prepare what they eat. The reason it is critical that children gain this ability while still in the parent’s home is so that when they leave the nest, they are capable and competent caring for themselves which prepares them for interdependence. Once they get into a relationship and have to comprehend and consider the upbringing and preferences that another person brings into it, and when they have their own child or a group to consider, interdependence becomes a factor. With a helpless dependent baby a parent’s role is fairly clear cut and obvious; however, when the child reaches independence and later on in interdependence, the roles blur and become fodder for debate.

Ideally, as a child moves through independence the parent knows or notices what skills their child needs to succeed in the interdependent adult world then arranges training and opportunities to integrate essential skills – eventually, ideally, this includes practice which comprehends trial and error and most of us as loving parents resist allowing our children to fail. Clearly there are times when trial and error could prove deadly – like driving a car; consequently, we invented driving school and 600 hours of practice before receiving the coveted license to drive – brilliant concept. How would life be different if we provided training, practice and licenses to hold our first credit card or checking account, go on our first date, work our first job, parent our first child… Okay, I digress. The point remains, an ideal parent prepares their child for all of these adult roles and more and they prepare them with education and opportunities to practice – while the parent sits in the “co-pilot” seat providing feedback as their child practices being adult. A child needs to hear from their parent about what they observe their child doing right, what they aren’t doing right and what might or must be done differently to get it right or they will receive feedback the hard way from financial challenges, career setbacks, broken relationship, health problems, etc.

Unfortunately, just as parents don’t always know or understand their role in this growing up process; many children rebel against being taught or coached.  

And, that leads us to how the role of a parent is a good metaphor for EGO. EGO’s function when we are dependent little spirits being human is survival. It tells us “don’t touch that burner it will burn you” or “don’t stand in front of that oncoming train it will kill you.” Just like a new parent, what it knows about how to protect you comes from a data base in your unconscious mind, filled with what you & it learned from trial and error or the books you read, movies you watched and what parents, teachers, friends, etc. told you. However, if you don’t know or understand its role or the source of its information, which ultimately, at the point of mastery/interdependence, becomes nothing more than advice that you can consider and choose to use or lose… if you don’t know or understand this, you become its dependent child forever.

How does this relate to either soul mate relationship sabotage or attraction? If your unconscious database is filled with more horror stories of ugly divorce, abuse or unfaithfulness and all the pain, anguish and misery they caused than there are loving, kind and mutually fulfilling experiences, judgments or memories; then, in spite of your conscious desire and intention to attract or enjoy a soul mate relationship your EGO says “don’t touch that burner it will burn you!” You, literally, will repel the love of your life; your EGO, to protect and serve you, finds evidence to support or agree with its negative judgment and opinion.

Conversely, if your unconscious database is filled with more positive, loving, kind and mutually fulfilling experiences, judgments and memories; then, you quickly attract and enjoy a soul mate relationship. Your EGO, the well-intentioned parent that it is wants you to have all things good, pleasant and beneficial; so, no barrier energy – attracting energy prevails.

Once you understand that it is EGO’s God given role to evaluate the information contained in your mental data base and offer its educated opinion; then, you can determine if that opinion is relevant given the current experience, your present more mature perspective and choose to follow EGO’s advice or not. Sometimes it will be right; other times its opinion will be clouded by the intensity of the emotion attached to the information stored in your mental database.

Fortunately, when you attain mastery, you naturally become an observer and can swing the balance to suit your wishes and desires. If your mental database is weighted heavy on the soul mate relationship equals danger, don’t do it side – invisible, but powerful, negative, repelling energy emanates from your essence; however, you can shift the weight to an invisible, but powerful, positive, attracting energy in many ways, some temporary and less effective than others. You can:

·        Add in positive evidence that your specific goal or intention – an ideal soul mate – can also be a good, safe, desirable experience and here’s how…

·        Create vision boards, meditative visualizations, etc…

·        Recite affirmations and undergo other reframing techniques learned through NLP, Holographic Repatterning, etc…

·        Evaluate the information stored in the database of your unconscious mind to learn if it is true, false or can be modified favorably – The 10-Step Belief Change Exercise is a valuable tool that you can use in the privacy of your own home, at your own speed, to effectively and permanently resolve  negative, limiting and sabotaging beliefs surfaced.

It might sound painful, uncomfortable and downright inconvenient; however, resolving the contents of your unconscious mind and aligning it with your goal and intention is a meaningful and purposeful process. The Zuk Paradox says that any time you set a goal or intention – such as I want to attract my ideal soul mate relationship – then everything stored in your unconscious mind’s database that opposes that goal or intention will come to the surface for you to resolve. Not only is  incongruence self-sabotaging; it impedes your ability to enjoy the experience of having what you want! Your EGO, like any good parent, helps you succeed with resolution and alignment. A good child works with the process and ultimately becomes an effective, successful master of his or herself! The Belief Change Exercise helps you work with your EGO to accomplish that goal.

For more insight on how to shift the balance favorably to attract your ideal soul mate relationship or to keep your soul mate love alive and flourishing,   the book Belief Change – The Book, available at (including on Kindle), , ebook download and Barnes and, contains the simple, 10-Step Belief Change Exercise.

In this book you will identify sabotaging, limiting beliefs and shift them to support and enable your goals and intentions.

What barrier beliefs stand between you and what you want to attract? How are you dissolving those barriers? We would love to hear from you in the comment section below.

Until next time, Namaste.

janet lee 

Belief Change Book


© jan gentleman-ingersoll Eastern Shepherd, Inc. 2010


You Asked to Attract Your Soul Mate – Now What?

You asked for your ideal soul mate, now what?

Notice who shows up and especially notice how you feel about him or her!

If you are like most human beings, as soon as you attract what you asked for, or for some people it is enough to just imagine you will attract your soul mate for the red flags to go up and sirens sound… in your head. What if I lose my freedom? What if they break my heart? What if they are_____ dishonest, lazy, abusive, unfaithful… fill in the blank with any and every fear you ever heard or held in the back of your mind because your soul mate relationship will surface them all; that is their job!

The Zuk Paradox states that any and every time you set a goal or intention, any and every conflicting thought or belief in your conscious or unconscious mind, that opposes what you ask for, will come to the surface to be reconciled. It works on any request: soul mates, money, careers, jobs… it is part of God’s grand design!

Some people call it the “self-saboteur”; that is one way to look at it but may not be the most effective way to approach it if you really want to get and keep what you want. The Zuk Paradox is actually designed and intended to help you enjoy and succeed with the soul mate, goal or wish you attract.

Once you reconcile or literally neutralize a limiting belief’s effect on you, you are free of it. Typically this allows peace, harmony and pleasure to characterize your experience. If this energy has been sufficient to block you from receiving your requested soul mate relationship; once neutralized the soul mate shows up instantly.

What’s the next step? Now that you asked for your ideal soul mate to manifest, think about the effect a soul mate will make to your life, notice what you feel. Recognize and analyze your emotions, trace them back to the belief that triggered them and voila, you will have the clue to solving the mystery of why can’t I attract or keep my ideal soul mate relationship!

Most, but not all, people are able to overlook or suppress their fearful feelings and beliefs through the wooing and dating stage, but at some point they will surface. Evidence is the divorce rate, and even more terrifying, the numbers of marriages where spouses find a comfort zone but actually live lives bordering on misery as they remain in an unfulfilling for the kids or appearances or lack of something better…

There is a better way!

Because you are reading this you are now aware of the Zuk Paradox and can proactively surface your fears for reconciliation. But do you know how-to reconcile these limiting, fearful beliefs?

Belief Change –The Book, available at (also available for Kindle download), and Barnes & contains a simple, easy to follow process that walks you through surfacing those sabotaging beliefs and how-to reconcile them.

“Ask, and it shall be given you; seek and ye shall find; knock and it shall be opened unto you. For everyone that asketh receiveth, and he that seeketh findeth, and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.” Matthew 7:7 & 8 is a promise. Once you ask for your ideal soul mate, the Universe and God always provide, notice what shows up. If there is a barrier – if it seems your request has gone unanswered – it is not “God’s denial”; it comes from your unconscious mind and all those beliefs you have about what impact your soul mate will have on your life. Learn what they are and you regain control of your soul mate destiny.

Order your copy of Belief Change – The Book today!


Namaste & blessings,

janet lee 

Belief Change Book


© jan gentleman-ingersoll Eastern Shepherd, Inc. 2010


Bars that Block Soul Mate Love

Belief Change - The Book“Rules” can be the prison bars that prevent you from recognizing your Soul Mate and/or appreciating/enjoying him/her exactly as they are. Ironically, they are also the distinctions that enable you to enjoy and appreciate Soul Mate love.

Their purpose? Survival and satisfaction.

What are they? Rules are also known as “values”; they are what is important to you about any and everything. They are the gauge you measure things against to determine: good/bad; pain/pleasure; safe/unsafe…

As a newlywed, I spent a great deal of time in tears because I desperately wanted my husband to anticipate my need for him to send me flowers, give me a sentimental card, a thoughtful gift, a call on the phone, or just look lovingly in my eyes and tell me how much he loved me. It would have been bad enough that I cried like a baby, but that is not what he saw, nor did I give him the benefit of an explanation. I would either get angry and not tell him why or just stuff it. I expected my husband to read my mind and tell me he loved me according to my rules, my expectations, of how a husband, any husband, should tell his wife “I love you”.

Rules become prison bars when you believe, think, choose, speak and act as if your “rules”, “expectations”, or “values” are Universal, God’s commandments and impossible (or immoral) to change, modify or replace. Bottom line, you are in prison when you believe others should share your “rules” or else they are “bad”, “wrong” or “inferior” … to you.

How do you know what your “rules” are? Ask yourself and answer the following questions:

· What’s important to me about: __fill in the blank____? (love, my partner/soul mate, family, life, work, religion, children, parenting, government, health… literally, everything)

· How do I know when I am: __fill in the blank____? ( loved, pretty, happy, successful…)

Ultimately and ideally you will transcend the need for “rules”. When you become fully present, every moment will be perfect exactly as it is. And, your soul mate will be perfect for you, just as he/she is.

You cannot just turn off your need for “rules” – you came here to experience them! You can however satisfy the need for them a.k.a. get from it what you intended to gain and move on to the next.

Belief Change – The Book contains a 10-step process that helps you accomplish that goal. The exercise surfaces those rules that are deeply entrenched, self-sabotaging beliefs and then leads you to their neutralization. Once neutralized, the bars on your prison dissolve and the need for that “rule” is gone.

janet lee

Belief Change Book

© jan gentleman-ingersoll Eastern Shepherd, Inc. 2010

Every day is Valentine’s Day when you love your Soul Mate

Every day is Valentine’s Day when you love your Soul Mate.

“Love,” in this context, is a verb. Verbs imply action; therefore, when you truly love your soul mate you will do those things that demonstrate, speak and show your love for them, every day.

Another way to apply this concept is to act like your relationship a lifelong date. Earn and deserve their love daily. More than candy, flowers and cards, what made your partner smile? What were those warm and fuzzy intimate moments that said, “you are special and important to me?” What else can you think of to make them grateful that you are in their life?

We all seek and yearn for “unconditional love“; sometimes we abuse or misuse it. None of us are perfect; unconditional love carries us through the inevitable mistakes but does not relieve us of our responsibility to be, do and act loveable the majority of the time. Unconditional love enables forgiveness but does not give us license to act like a jerk to the one who loves us most. Steven Covey, in his 7 Habits of Highly Effective People*, correlates this concept to an “emotional bank account”: make more deposits of loving kindness than you do “uh-oh” withdrawals, and your relationship should thrive and fulfill you both.


janet lee

Belief Change the Book

© jan gentleman-ingersoll Eastern Shepherd, Inc. 2009